The world of art can be as overwhelming as keeping up with which emojis are cool and which are “cringey.” To help, I’ve come up with a scientific quiz to find out who your favorite artist may be. So scientific that Johnson & Johnson wanted the formula for their COVID vaccine, but I said, “No! This information is for Nice and Easel readers only!”

This is very handy when you’re at a stuffy wine and cheese party and need a talking point, or on a hot date at The Met. “I prefer Kelly Reemtsen’s narrative on female empowerment,” you can say with confidence. Better yet, do the quiz with your date! Quizzes are hot.

God speed!

1.     I have a tattoo of:

a.       A word. Even if it is in another language and I found out later it means “lettuce.”

b.       Somebody’s face. Maybe your son? Maybe Mikhail Gorbachev?

c.       A design. Something trippy, something plain, whatever!

d.       No tats on my untainted skin!

2.     My dream job is:

a.       To be a public speaker, I have a lot to say!

b.       Sales. “Enjoy your new chest freezer, Madame Penguin!”

c.       A cartoonist. Every since Jessica Rabbit stepped onto the scene, I’ve wanted to be a cartoonist.

d.       Prison guard. And not the corrupt kind like on “Orange is the New Black.”

3.     My favorite movie is:

a.       The King’s Speech. Bellatrix Lestrange really pulls off that queenly role!

b.       The Pursuit of Happyness. Will Smith getting’ jiggy with a true success story!

c.       The Matrix. Yes to multiple dimension, portals, slo-mo fight scenes!

d.       Old Yeller. Pass the tissues!

4.     My guilty pleasure is:

a.       Binge watching Netflix. The trashier, the better!

b.       Time on Zillow, Daniel Levy SNL skit-style.

c.       Online shopping. “Add to cart” are my three favorite words.

d.       Wine and chocolate. Even better if they’re both from a box.

5.     I sleep best in:

a.       Nothing but a sleep mask.

b.       Lingerie. Not the scratchy, lacy kind, but the good stuff.

c.       A weighted blanket, pillow flipped to the cool side.

d.       My ultra-worn flannel jammies!

6.     If my friend group had mock elections, I’d win:

a.       Miss Congeniality

b.       It’s a toss-up between Most Likely to be President or Most Likely to be kingpin of the prison yard.

c.       Most likely to live in a van and be a surf instructor

d.       Worst driver award. It’s okay. Someone has to win it.

7.     Would you rather… lick a toilet during halftime at a Cowboys game? Or suck down a fish smoothie?

a.       Both! Sounds yummy!

b.       I’d rather punch your face for asking this stupid question.

c.       Instead, how about I streak across the fifty-yard line waving a trout?

d.       I’ll take “lick the toilet for $400.”

8.     My favorite professional mascot is:

a.       Phillie Phanatic

b.       Mr. Redlegs

c.       Benny the Bull

d.       Youppi!

9.     My preferred mode of transportation is:

a.       The fanciest, most expensive SUV money can buy.

b.       Public transportation! The people watching is second to none.

c.       A scooter, skateboard, bike, my feet. A sailboat, if we’re crossing water.

d.       A car. Isn’t that everyone’s preferred mode? Dumb question.

10. Most the pictures on my phone are of:

a.       Me out clubbin’! Woot woot!

b.       My friends. My kids’ friends. Strangers whose clothes I like.

c.       Beautiful scenery! Clouds shaped like lobsters, full moons, etc.

d.       Screenshots of books to read, recipes to make, cute home décor I want.

 

If you mostly picked As: Much of Piet Mondrian’s work is open to interpretation and you love to have a piece of art to discuss with friends. Or strangers, for that matter! His use of bold, primary colors appeal to your vibrant personality. You probably appreciate the directness of his linework and the whimsy of his beautiful trees.

If you mostly picked Bs: You may be a fan of Jackson Pollack. His art is wild and fun, just like you! Pollack was a guy on the move. He loved to dance around his canvases, looking at things from every angle. You may have a knack for seeing things from multiple perspectives, and you definitely like to be on the go!

If you mostly picked Cs: Pablo Picasso might be your jam. You are artsy (and I’m not just saying that because you’re visiting an art blog) and think outside the box. Or the cube, in this case. Pablo Picasso was all about doing art in new, explorative ways. Your ultra-creative self really appreciates his unique contributions to the art world.

If you mostly picked Ds: It’s hard to beat good old Leonardo Da Vinci, in your opinion! You have great attention to detail and da Vinci’s art gives you details you can really sink your teeth into. His creativity appeals to your Renaissance side, his skill to your love of all things precise. Your style is timeless and who is more timeless than this Italian master?