It’s almost Halloween! The other day my sister gave me a kiss, marry, kill scenario that was the worst I’ve ever had to categorize. In the spirit of the season, I will share with you, so you too can lose sleep over this. If you had to choose, which of the following would you kiss (deal with for a bit), which would you marry (live with for an extended period), and which would you kill (not have to put up with at all)? Ready?

• Lice
• Mice
• Pinworms

This was the worst decision I’ve ever had to make. Normally our kiss, marry, kill options are things like Fritos, Doritos, Cheetos. Challenging, but not impossible. And certainly nothing that makes me pull my car over so I can bang my head on the steering wheel, while she laughs at my misery.

Don’t worry- I did not look for art featuring any of the above monstrosities. Instead- a different monstrosity. Teeth.

This horrifying model was part of an art exhibit in London in 2018. It is what dental students of old used to learn their craft. Why the figure had to have such creepy eyebrows, nobody knows.

This poster was included in the same exhibit, but is normally housed in the British Dental Association Museum (a new bucket list item, perhaps?) It reminds me a bit of the Guinness beer posters, but those are ads… I’m not exactly sure what this is advertising. That exclamation point really communicates some pride, doesn’t it? (Sidebar: nowadays, the number is more like one ton, apparently.)

A simple search on Etsy pulled up some relatively cute teeth paintings (for dentists’ offices, I presume). And then there was the above picture that stuck out like a sore thumb. Or a toothache. Here is the link if you’re interested. You can get five “random” teeth for $35. That’s $7 a pop, which is not what our tooth fairy pays.

Happy Halloween, friends! Stay tuned for next year’s Halloween post on pinworms!